


Beginnings II

by JKlog



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Post-Series, Slash, Spirit Animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 10:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKlog/pseuds/JKlog
Summary: Blair has to make a difficult decision. Jim dreams of the "blue jungle".





	Beginnings II

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Comienzos 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12076395) by [JKlog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKlog/pseuds/JKlog). 



Blair started courses at the Police Academy. He was doing very well, even in training for handling weapons. But there was a problem that he dared not tell Jim, and it was the hostility he was subjected to by some of the other cadets. Not only for his statement of being a fraud, but also because he was the best of the class and because it was rumored that he had secured a position as a detective in Major Crimes with Jim Ellison. Blair heard them talk about how it could be that Detective Ellison hadn’t thrown him out after what he had done, and how could it be that he wanted him as a partner. They wondered if there was any certainty that Detective Ellison had special powers.

That made Blair feel very worried. He was afraid that soon everyone would ask themselves that same question. How could it be that Ellison put up with him and even wanted him as a partner if he had lied about him in his dissertation? Besides, how could a confessed fraud be a loyal and honest cop? When he had to testify in court, would anyone believe him? These doubts haunted Blair's mind and wouldn’t let him sleep in peace.

 

* * *

 

 

Blair arrived from the Academy and found a woman standing at the loft’s door. She looked at him with a smile and held out her hand as she introduced herself.

"I’m Mary Winthrop, journalist for the Cascade Herald. Can I interview you, Mr. Sandburg?" Blair took her hand.

"I don’t know if I have anything to say to you. What is the interview about?" Although he already suspected what it would be about.

"I want to ask you some questions regarding your press conference. Concerning your dissertation."

"I have nothing to say about that," Blair replied, taking the loft key from the pocket of his jacket. As he opened the door, the reporter pulled out a voice recorder. "Mr. Sandburg, how could you still be living with Detective Ellison after what happened? Is there any truth in your dissertation? Is it really a fraud? Or is it not?"

"I have nothing to say about that," Blair repeated and closed the door in front of the reporter's face.

Blair stood with his back against the door. What he feared was happening. Everyone was wondering if Jim was really a Sentinel. And most were concluding that he was. All because he was still living with Jim. There was only one solution for that. It was going to be much harder now that they were lovers, but he couldn’t go on living in Cascade. They had said that their relationship was forever, that they would be together forever. But life had set them up. Surely, Jim would end up hating him for this, hell, he hated himself for it, but it had to be done. It was going to be like dying, like ripping out his heart, but there was no other way out.

But he didn’t want to leave without making love to Jim once more. One last time to remember forever. He knew it would be very difficult to hide Jim the anguish he felt, but he was going to try to do it.

He went to his room and changed his clothes. Then he went to the kitchen and began to prepare dinner. In an hour, Jim would come home from work.

 

* * *

 

 

They had dinner and talked about what they had done during the day. Blair didn’t tell Jim about his meeting with the journalist. He was going to clarify everything in a letter that he would write to leave when he left. He felt terribly sorry for having to do that to Jim, but he thought there was no way out. He hoped Jim didn’t realize he was feeling a tremendous anguish. He tried to hide it as best as he could.

After dinner, they cleaned up and got ready to go to bed. Blair went first to the bedroom and waited naked for his lover. When Jim reached the bed, he realized that Blair didn’t want to go to sleep right away. He undressed and lay down next to his lover. Immediately, they began to kiss and caress eachother.

Jim lay on top of Blair, leaning on his arms not to crush his lover. He began by gently kissing Blair's forehead and eyelids, then coming down to cover his mouth in a passionate kiss. Then he went down, kissing the neck until he reached the middle of his chest, then attacking Blair's nipples, which hardened at the stimulus. Blair groaned with pleasure, stroking Jim's shoulders and back. He continued down the body of his lover, until he reached the navel, in which he sank his tongue.

"Please, Jim, please ...," pleaded Blair, who was over excited. Jim took pity on him and took the erection of Blair in his mouth, stroking his testicles with one hand and taking the base of the penis with the other.

Blair was about to climax, but that was not what he wanted.

"Jim, please stop. I want you to take me, make me yours, my love." Jim stopped and reached for the lubricant and a condom in the drawer of the bedside table. Then he lifted Blair's legs and placed them on his shoulders. Blair preferred that position, so that they could look into each other's faces while they made love. Jim poured some lubricant into the fingers of his right hand and sought the opening to prepare his lover. Once ready, he placed the condom and poured a generous amount of lubricant over his erection. He lined up with Blair's anus and pushed. Slowly, he entered the narrow channel, while Blair felt some pain mixed with pleasure. When they were totally united, Blair felt a wonderful feeling of being full of Jim. He savored the moment and kept it in his memory, thinking it was the last time he would feel that way.

Jim started to move, looking closely at Blair's face and seeing how love and passion were expressed by it. He also saw his lover's eyes fill with tears, and wondered why. When he was about to reach orgasm, he took Blair's penis in one hand and stimulated him to reach orgasm as well. It didn’t take much, Blair ejaculated screaming his name as tears fell down his face. Jim also reached orgasm, seconds later, shouting Blair's name.

Then he turned away slowly, reluctant to leave the so intimate connection with his beloved. He took off the condom and dropped it into the bin near the bed. He took a towel from the table and cleaned Blair's belly. He dropped to his side next to Blair and noticed that his young lover was crying.

"What is it, Blair? Why are you crying?"

"Oh, Jim, I love you so much. I won’t be able to do it. "

"Do what?" Blair covered his face with both hands, wiping away his tears.

"To leave you," murmured Blair, knowing he was going to have to tell his beloved everything.

"Leave me? And why the hell were you going to do that?" Jim asked, feeling a sharp pain in his chest at the mere thought that Blair could get out of his life.

"Because I thought it was the only way out. But I can’t do it. I'd rather die than leave you."

"Then don’t." Jim laid his right hand on Blair's chest, right over his heart. "Why is it the only way out? What happened?"

Blair told him what had happened at the Police Academy and at the door, when the journalist had wanted to interview him.

"I get it. Then people are realizing that I am a Sentinel, after all."

"Yes, and they think I shouldn’t be living with you. That's why I thought I should leave." Blair ran his hands over his face and hair.

"What are we going to do, Jim? I can’t see a way out of this."

"I don’t know, but it's out of the question for you to make more sacrifices. You already sacrificed enough for me."

"You know I would do it a thousand times over," Blair stated, "not just for you as my partner, but as my Sentinel."

Jim was pensive for a few minutes, staring at the skylight.

"What are you thinking?" Blair asked. Jim looked into his eyes.

"I'm thinking maybe it's time for me to make a sacrifice.” Blair thought for a few moments and then realized what Jim meant.

"No, Jim! You can’t do that."

"I think so. I think it's time I make it public that I'm a Sentinel."

"But, you know what that means. The criminals will know what to do to stop you."

"No, if we don’t let your dissertation be published. That is the only source of knowledge about the Sentinels."

Blair looked thoughtful again. Then he said, "We'll have to make sure that all the existing copies of the dissertation are destroyed."

"No! Not that! Maybe there's still a chance you can get your doctorate."

"But, Jim, it's been a long time since I gave up on that. I want to be a cop now. So I can be your official partner."

Jim's eyes widened. "Really, Chief?"

"Really." Blair smiled. "I couldn’t go back to the merry-go-round now that I got on the roller coaster."

Jim also smiled and then kissed his friend and lover. It was a brief kiss but full of emotion.

"So, it’s decided, we'll do that."

"But how do we do it?" asked Blair, who was feeling better because he didn’t have to leave Jim.

"With a press conference, just like you did. But this time we'll both be in front of the cameras."

 

* * *

 

 

First they had to talk to Captain Banks about what they wanted to do. He was astonished and surprised, but finally acceded to be also present in the press conference. Of course he would have to talk to his superiors. He didn’t want to have that conversation, he knew it’d be very difficult, considering that he would be asked why he had kept the secret until now. He hoped to convince them that it was a matter of guarding the life of the Sentinel himself and his Guide.

Finally, the day of the press conference arrived. When it was summoned, many of the media reporters imagined what it would be about. But, contrary to what Jim and Blair expected, they didn’t publish anything until the conference, perhaps for fear that everything would turn out to be a fiasco, again.

They were in the Cascade Police Conference Room. There was a podium with microphones. Behind it was Jim Ellison and behind him, Blair and Simon. Opposite the podium were the journalists and the cameras. There was a lot of background noise, so Jim cleared his throat to get attention. Immediately there was silence.

"I thank all of you for coming to hear what we have to say. I'll be quick. The statement of being a fraud made by my partner, Blair Sandburg, was a lie. Lying that had its reason to be in its moment, which was to protect me from bad intentions. But the truth is that I am a Sentinel. I have all five senses heightened. I can see, hear, smell, taste and touch much better than ordinary people. Blair Sandburg is my guide, which means he’s the person who has helped me and taught me to use my senses to their best ability. I have used my senses in the fight against crime and I aspire to continue doing so." Jim took a deep breath and let the air out slowly. "I have nothing more to say." And he went away from the podium.

The reporters burst into questions, but Jim did not return to answer them. Simon Banks took his place and tried to answer as best he could. Finally, Blair approached to answer questions about his dissertation and his doctorate. He told them of his intention to graduate from the Police Academy and work as a detective with Ellison.

The press conference was adjourned and Jim had to decline to give individual interviews.

They went to the Major Crimes’s bullpen, entering Banks's office, where he now had his special coffee. He offered Jim and Blair cups, which they accepted gratefully. As they drank coffee, they thought about what had happened.

"Well, gentlemen, we did it. What's going to happen now?" Banks said.

"Surely they will speak about this a lot from now on and then the waters will quiet. They are probably going to check all the cases involving Jim from now on," Blair replied.

"And they will also want to review the cases in which he has already worked, to see if the evidence was legally obtained," Simon said, worried.

"I don’t think there's any problem with that, we were always careful with the evidence," Jim said.

"Well, in that case, we don’t have to worry. If you don’t have anything else to tell me, go to work. I have things to do," the captain told them as he pulled a cigar from his desk drawer and forgot that Blair no longer worked there.

Jim and Blair left and were immediately surrounded by their co-workers, in the case of Blair, ex co-workers, who congratulated them on the press conference and assured them of their support. They thanked them.

Then Blair said goodbye and went to the Academy.

 

* * *

 

 

That night Jim dreamed of the blue jungle. He appeared, as usual, in a clearing in the jungle, and a few steps ahead of him was the black jaguar. The animal spirit turned and went into the vegetation. Jim followed. The animal arrived at another clearing where the entrance to a temple was, surrounded by sculptures of jaguars and other animals. Jim looked up from his guide spirit and met a woman. His surprise was great when he realized who she was. His mother.

She looked as he remembered from his childhood. He approached her, hesitantly. She smiled at him, with a beautiful, peaceful smile.

"Mom!" exclaimed Jim, smiling too. He realized how much he had missed his mother and how much he loved her.

"Hi, son," she said, and waved him closer. When they were near, they embraced. When they separated, Jim could see that there were tears in his mother's eyes.

"Tears of happiness," she said before he could ask her, "I thought I'd never see you again."

“I thought the same, Mom." Jim, for once, was grateful to the superior powers who had arranged this 'blue jungle vision'.

"But why are you here, Mom?"

"I have to tell you something, my son. Something that happened before you were born." Now she had become very serious. She didn’t even seem to want to tell him anything.

Jim put his right hand on Grace's shoulder. "You can tell me anything."

She closed her eyes, as if trying to gather strength. "This happened when I was three months pregnant with you. I was in the park when this animal appeared to me," she pointed to the black jaguar,"and ... well, at that moment I didn’t understand what was happening, but, well, this animal penetrated me ...”

"You mean what I think you mean? He raped you?" Jim asked, frightened.

"Yes, he actually took me by force, at that point I didn’t understand it, but now I understand. Jim, the black jaguar is your animal spirit. It was meant to be from that moment on."

Jim was frowning. "But I don’t understand why it had to be by force. It shouldn’t have been like that."

"Later on they explained that it was like that because I had shown fear. If I hadn’t been so terrified, it would have been different," Grace said, smiling to calm her son. "I have to tell you something else, that happened when you were born."

"Does Dad know this?" Jim asked, puzzled.

"No, I couldn’t tell him anything. Surely, he wouldn’t have believed me, or would have thought I was crazy. But I have something else to tell you, when you were born, in the delivery room, instead of seeing you, I saw a small black cat, a kitten"

"WHAT?!"

"Yes, I saw a little black cat, and I told William and the doctor who was taking care of me. But then I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, you were there with those beautiful blue eyes."

Grace smiled again and this made Jim smile too. "William wanted me to see a psychiatrist, after that."

"No wonder," Jim said, making a mental note to talk to his father about it.

"That's all I wanted to tell you. I thought you should know, that's why they let me see you. "

"Mom, it's good to see you. I’ve missed you so much…"

"Yes, I missed you too, you and Steven. Although I’ve been able to see aspects of your lives from the other side. I could see when you were lost in Peru. I’d have wanted to do something for you then, but there was nothing I could do."

"Oh, Mom, it's so good to know there's life after death and that you're there. How are you on the other side, Mom? Do they treat you well?"

"Yes, they treat me very well. Besides, I must tell you, life after death is only transient. There is what we call reincarnation. "

"It's good to know, Mom." Jim looked thoughtful. "Then, if you know of my animal spirit, I suppose you know that I’m a Sentinel, and what that means."

"Yes, son, I know all about that. I'm so proud of you. What you're doing as a cop."

"Then you know I have a Guide, Blair Sandburg."

"Yes, I know."

"Blair told me that his mother had gone through something similar to what happened to you, what you told me, except that Blair's animal spirit is a gray wolf. Blair died a while ago and I was able to bring him back to life. Our animal spirits merged in a beam of light when that happened."

"I know, Incacha told me," Grace said, surprising her son.

"Do you know Incacha?"

"Yes, we talked a lot about you." Grace frowned. "Son, I must go, I also wanted to tell you that I’m sorry to have left when you were little boys, but unfortunately, it was my destiny."

"Okay, Mom, I understand." They hugged each other again. Grace let her head rest on her son's shoulder, saying softly, "I love you, my son."

"I love you too, Mom."

"We'll see each other again," she said and turned, disappearing just a few steps from the entrance to the temple.

Jim opened his eyes and found himself staring at the skylight in his bedroom. Blair slept beside him, snoring softly, one arm around Jim's waist.

He thought about waking him up to tell him about his meeting with his mother, but then he thought better of it and decided to tell him in the morning.

 


End file.
